Sunday 14 February 2016

Becoming a Woman

I said in a previous post, I have been a woman for a few years now however became mature in my thoughts and actions over the past year or so. I feel that facing huge battles in my twenties has opened for a level of maturity. But I have not really lived yet. For years, I isolated myself from the world due to depression and fear of people. This is a mental issue I had suffered with for many years that scarred me and therefore left me very critical towards myself and others. It stopped me moving forward in life. Very recently, after suffering a painful miscarriage of twins I feel this was the wake up call to get my life.

Mum, wife and Entrepreneur (in the making). I value myself and others around me. My best interest is their wellbeing and also my own, so I make the commitment to getting everything done and being a responsible woman so everyone is catered for. 
It is my duty to be a home maker, regardless of these other commitments. My husband is not the type to consider how we would decorate our corridor or sitting room! I am the one to run out to do the food shopping as I would be the one to prepare it. I go to work early, come home to meet my son after school and ensure he has eaten, bathed and put to bed, then to make sure there is food to eat.
I have bills to pay, and although my husband carries the majority of it, I am responsible for running and paying the bills towards my own personal business. A woman can carry so much responsibilities and thats what makes us special.

Relationships and Sex:
So, I am quite grown, so if you are quite young, this section may not relate to you.
I feel you explore so much more of yourself when you are paired with someone else. That being tested in a relationship or even exploring yourself sexually. Insecurities can majorly occur in both areas, perhaps due to lack of confidence, especially if you are with someone who has been in a previous relationship, you would often find yourself comparing to their previous partner. It does not matter how old or how much you are of a woman, in some cases, you may still lack self esteem in a relationship and the good thing is, you can grow that. 
Sex, is a huge part of a grown woman's life, if of course you are sexually active. Making love contributes to a woman's growth in so many ways, the more you explore with your partner the more you expand and the more of a woman you may become.

Appearance and Looks
At this point now, I have grown and learn to love my appearance. I feel that I know what makes me look beautiful, what I like, and what flatters me. Not even considering what others may feel. When you are younger, you do worry so much about fitting in and of course keeping up with certain trends etc. Of course, women also feel some what insecure, especially with what is out there in the media, and in a lot of cases we also want to fit in with the latest fashion etc, however if I am honest, its not as important to 'Grown women' if you get what I mean! 

Social Life and Exploring
My Social Life is not as social as it used to be. In fact, I feel the more you grow, the more you realise to be at every single club or certain events can get childish. You realise the value of money and therefore you understand spending so much on a night out can put a hole in your pocket. For me, I have been embracing travel, that is my form of socialising, I would love to see the world with my loved one, close friends or even on my own. Instead of clubs, I prefer cool drinks and a fancy bar. Coffee at a classy cafe! I love to try out new restaurants and it fine food and drink fine wine! Now, these are just my preferences and I am sure depending on your taste, you may feel my choice of socialising is boring! For the most part, my kind of socialising is at home, with a lovely dimmed atmosphere, listening to cool music with the loved one, and checking out things on the internet. Family also is important, every opportunity to stay at home with my son and husband  I prefer than to go out. There has to be a balance, and I found once you grow, you understand yourself a lot more!

Growing and becoming more of a woman does take time in some cases, but the fact is, we all would become grown at some point. I feel experience can contribute majorly to our growth and it is important for us who are older to inspire our 'little sisters' and 'daughters'. 



  1. Awesome piece! It's really magical to see you grow and embrace 'adult' topics my dear. I am super proud of you and as time goes on, I have no doubt we met for a reason and for such a time as this (for both you and I). Keep slaying!!!

  2. Enjoyed the topic. You are great and inspiring. Do you boo!

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  4. When I was in the hospital recently I was told that you don't look 55 years old are you really that age? Your skin is beautiful, I was not feeling at my best and yet beauty was mentioned, thank you for reminding me.

  5. I loved reading this, it was very inspiring and I learnt some things I could take away!

  6. Beautiful Chanel thank you! I was wondering if you could do a blog post or video about freeing yourself from spiritual shame. I watched your draw my life and learned you were once a part of a church that made you feel shameful and afraid. How did you free yourself from that? I am dealing with a lot of shame in my Christian walk that makes me isolate myself and hide. It's crippling me as a woman

  7. Hey Chanel, I very much enjoyed this piece as it feels so genuine and honest. It has been a pleasure to watch you grow as a person and feel inspired from your advice and philosophies. I implore you to keep speaking out on spirituality and the knowledge and love of self as in the YouTube world these paramount issues sometimes take a backseat to fashion and beauty. I myself have decided to blog about life and the importance of learning and growing - please have a read if that interests you:

    Thanks for the wisdom and keep giving us the best of all worlds!

    Quel Paris

  8. I have been inspired, thanks!

  9. beautiful, impovering thoughts,your writing skills are on point Madame Chanel,and you just made me so proud of beeing a woman!

  10. This is beautiful 😍 loved it...such an inspiration...❤

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