Monday, 4 July 2016
Chanel...How are you so confident?
The main reason I can imagine most people question my confidence is of course because I am obese, fat, overweight, plus size or whatever you would like to address it as. I get the stigma attached to being so large and out of the ordinary or norm and society's views on what beauty is and what it should be.
My main question is, why can't an overweight person be confident and feel happy within their own skin? There are many slim and beautiful people out there that have major issues with being confident. Our biggest downfall is the fact that we constantly compare ourselves to others... putting ourselves down in the process and it results in low self esteem.
Just to give you a background, I have not always been confident, and to be honest, even now, I do have 'those days' where I feel utterly ugly and can be quite paranoid about my appearance. As a child, I have been called out and bullied about my size. I have been clinically obese my entire life. In an ideal world, YES I would like to be smaller. I would like to be a size that I am considered as 'beautiful' and 'healthy' I personally would think being slimmer is a lot more comfortable and relatively 'easier' to live your life. The smallest I have been is a 14-16 during my adult life, and honestly, ideally, I would love to get down to this size.
What happens when the weight loss journey is a struggle? What happens when it becomes increasingly difficult to find the motivation, and will power to focus on a journey that potentially could take a few years to get to the destination. As far as I am concerned, at the moment this is my size. A UK size 20-22 and with years of 'trying' I have not and would never give up on trying to loose weight, but it is not so simple and has been a personal battle for me my entire life.
When people just tell me to 'loose weight' some times out of malice and sometimes from a genuine heart and concern for my well being (much appreciated) my response is.. I am confident.. for now that is good enough!
I think it is safe to say, that every human being has a 'struggle' weight loss is my hugest struggle. I am pretty good at a lot of things however this is my biggest challenge.
Whilst I work on several ways to find motivation to stick to a healthy lifestyle so the weight drops off, the best I can do is appreciate and LOVE who I am at the moment. A weight that perhaps would never be accepted as beautiful or flattering, but I have to work with what I got.
So the question is WHY and HOW am I so confident?
My honest and simple answer is, because I actually think I am SO BEAUTIFUL! I am not exaggerating or lying or even boasting but, I have come to a point of acceptance and I think I am attractive, have an amazing character, strive and attitude and its something worth celebrating.
Currently I am in Spain... on a beach holiday with my best friend. There are a lot of skinny women around me, with their bikinis on.. and what are my options.. cover up and sweat under the heat or pull out my bikini and enjoy life also! I have all the options possible to stay covered up, or possibly just not go out. But right now, I just want to feel amazing, take beautiful pics and one day look back at it even from a healthier size and say, wow, I am happy I was happy.. taking these photos.
Life is way too short. My thought is, if I die, and never get to the point of a 'healthy' and 'small' size, at least I know I have enjoyed myself at the weight I am at.
My advice to young people and women everywhere is to love yourself whoever you are, at what ever state you are in. Feel and be beautiful. It does not even take you to have to get in a bikini, just be happy with who you are, if you have the means and will power of changing something to your preference also then I see no wrong in that, but for some of us we should learn to love and accept ourselves.
© Chanel Ambrose | All rights reserved.