Monday 1 August 2016

Changes... Embracing my Body Change

Change is good. I personally embrace change in several different ways because it teaches you so much about life and yourself.
I feel this year has been a major year for changing and a test for me personally. Its interesting because, I started the year speaking about 'Changes' in a video I filmed at the beginning of this year. It is as if I was prophetically speaking about myself, thinking that I was making changes and that the changes were going to be settled, but did not realise that throughout the year, I would embrace different types of changes and be tested on how I would handle it all in the process.

One thing I am grateful for is that a lot of the changes I have encountered over the past few months are positive changes, one which entails growth, maturity and reasoning. Most changes have been good, some have been bad, but overall, a test on how I handle them all.
Some changes are out of my control, meanwhile some changes come because it is an elevation.

I thought I would use these images in this post because you may or may not be able to notice a huge change in my appearance...
I know you know what I am talking about....

Look carefully.. lol!

My body has changed... This year has been a complete yoyo for me! In regards to weight loss and weight gain, I have been up and down and not very stable, over the past few weeks I just decided to let things go and I piled on the pounds. Mentally, I have not been very stable and this has effected my focus on my diet and health, where as just a few weeks before that I was going crazy at the gym!

Whilst the piles are adding, I would not deny the fact that I am not proud of myself, feel a bit like a failure as I was definitely doing so well. So I have decided to make a change and as we have embraced a new month and I have healed slightly from my operation that restricted my weight loss journey, I have been working on ways to get those piles down!
How do you embrace weight gain?
For me personally, I believe it is important to embrace and love yourself at any state, I would not deny the fact that it has dawned on me that my weight piled on again, but all the same, but what if I lost the weight and was still miserable. Over the weekend, I had a huge closet clear out, took out all the clothes that do not fit anymore, or simply clothes that did not fit well. I particularly focused on keeping 'larger' size clothing that actually fit. There is no need to be in denial if you have definitely gained weight. It is better to dress well, and dress well to your size, I feel it puts you in a positive state because you at least know you look good in well fitted clothing.
I then worked on a plan again to focus on my food intake and the level and amount of exercise I get. 

My advice for dealing with negative change is always focus on the positive aspect. For years, I spent isolated and masked with depression and anxiety issues, but even in those dark phases, I fixed my eyes on the positive future God has for me. Honestly, I am so amazed at the level of growth that has come my way.. Don't feel afraid to try something new, don't feel afraid to embrace change even if it feels as if you are drained and want to give up.
In regards to delaying with weight gain, it can be annoying, but everyday is a new day, and everyday you can start again with your fight to keep fit and healthy, my battle has been happening my entire life, and I do not plan in giving up any time soon! Remember all of the positive things you have gained besides the weight gain and celebrate those

Photography: Sonya Metzler



  1. I love your posts. They are so real. I love the honesty in a number of them. There is too much talk of perfection and we all assume everyone is just doing so well at everything but our struggles are somewhat the same. The growth is just amazing once we start being open and especially viewing our situations in a different way.

  2. Girl whether you have "piled" on the pounds or not you are always slaying cause of your confidence and level of postivity and its helping me with my journey of self discovery and happiness. so thank you girl and will always love you

  3. Yeah, Changes generally scare me, especially one where I'm not sure whether they're good or bad. I was on a healthy curves journey myself when I purposely sabotage myself wanted to gain back all of my weight because I thought being body positive an learning to love your body while over here shrinking it is impossible. But I think I've figure it out now. . .hmm. . .this would make for an interesting blog post.
    You handled this well hey. I'm glad you're not too hard on yourself boo. You just keep slaying us

    Mvumikazi | URBAN MNGUNI

  4. I would agree with you that dressing for your size is the best way to go. It looks polished and confident. However, speaking as someone that has yo-yoed in weight, I would suggest that putting the slightly smaller clothes to the back of the wardrobe is better than getting rid of them.

    You are a beautiful woman and will be, no matter your size, but you were stunning when you were losing weight and going to the gym and eating better.


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