In a funk... Mentally, Emotionally, Physically

Hey sweetie darlings!

Welcome back to another post this week. Whilst I know a lot of you come over to my blog for zeal, motivation and all round a boost of pow pow, girl power! I maaaay just need to flip roles with you and perhaps get you guys to console me a little! So I'm in a funk right now.  Having an urge of awkwardness, displacement, anxiety and a slight loss of focus.
This tends to happen to the best of us, and even the most strong people you know go through this really awful state.
Whilst this year has definitely been a blessed year for me, in regards to progression, growth and fresh starts, it does come with many trials, and that has definitely been the case for me. I am in a testing season and have unfortunately been quite distracted and my main focus right now is to get back on track so I would not fully detach. This evening, I got a call from my Pastor, and he could definitely sense I have been quite complacent and that is why he called... I was so open and honest about my emotions lately, that he said it is as if I am like a fish, that has been taken out of the water and I instantly agreed and knew within my spirit that he was right about that.

I am definitely the first person to say, to get positive and get focused, it is the people around you that matters a great deal. Negative energy can rub off and in no time, your entire aura can become negative.  Whilst I feel I have done a great job at getting rid of negative people, it can get to the point where you are lonely and finding positive people to replace the negative, can be very difficult. Thats ok, because what I am learning is to cope with loneliness and also learning that people, positive or negative are not the ones to put me in check, make me happy or get me focused, the responsibility is within my own hands and I have to work on this for myself.
It is a surprise to hear that I have a husband, that spends a lot of time with me, I also have friends and I keep quite busy, to actually discover that I can actually get a bit lonely...
God has blessed me with the best friends, a girl could ask for... but I did mention, even with those amazing women in my life in a post about being a lonely YouTuber... it is possible to feel lonely and displaced. In fact, you can have so many people around you, friends, family, children, colleagues and more and still feel very displaced and lonely.

I feel, what has happened to me in this season is, I have successfully distanced from negative people. Correct. I then have a few positive friends. Correct. I have over-strategised, almost like a perfectionist in regards to family affairs such as care for my son, my relationship with my husband and of course, work. I also make a lot of time for myself.. all correct. But within the process, I almost forgot to feed my spirit with what my spirit needs, and instead feeding it with something that drains me tremendously. With the amount of things I juggle daily, I felt overwhelmed and obliged to commit to everything, forgetting that my body and mind needs a break. I often put my family before me, which is a natural thing for mothers but in the same breathe, receive a lot of criticism for how I handle my family affairs. To be absolutely honest, social media has been extremely dangerous, and not a place where I want to be. The level of negativity found on social media is so ridiculous... but at the same time, social media is so rewarding, so inspirational and there are many beautiful people and things you could find on this platform.
Recently, with the amount of drama that has happened not even socially but with recent bad news from around the world, added to the drama within the industry, added to the negativity and criticisms that come directly to me and then added to my personal issues such as family drama, handling business deals daily as a CEO, going through a few health issues of my own, dealing with weight gain (even when trying to loose weight), added with a sprinkle of my hormones running crazy during ovulation and when on my period.. I just need to..


PAUSE


Last night, I deleted the twitter, Instagram and snap chat apps from my phone, and only planned to go on the app when I have things that are catchy, fun, perhaps business related to upload or of course, updates for followers. I access twitter via my laptop like once a day add a few tweets and have scheduled posts using hootsuite. I started listening to some motivational preaching and made sure I was in church today. I found myself just sobbing and trying to figure out a way to gather myself together and literally rebuke all distractions. I am a strong woman, and I do not plan on breaking, when important people like my husband and son needs me, this is not a time to be compelled by distractions from the real world and of course the fake world! Am I the only one? Or are you all not aware of at least these few weeks specifically... with the police vs blacks wars, mass shootings in Orlando and recently Munich, murders literally everywhere, to the massive youtube drama, celebrity mess its just almost addicting to get into the madness that is found on the internet yet, sometimes, we do not realise that it is huge drainage! I have noticed this for a while, but on Friday night, it just dawned on me that I need to STEP AWAY. Whilst we all enjoy hearing and feeding into gossip, and 'sipping tea', how often do we stop to realise it is taking huge essential fragments of our day and contributing to anxiety and even our own confidence. I feel paranoid, extremely anxious.. and something needs to be done about it. I am the type of person to be honest to myself and honest to others and I wear my heart on my sleeves, but I am pretty certain that almost all of us feel like this right now, and perhaps a lot of us don't notice or a lot of us just deal with it. This has been quite a year and I am not even referring to personal woes, but the world in general is changing and it is actually quite daunting.
My mental state is bombarded by a lot of the things I see in the real world, in the fake world and in my personal world. My motive right now is to put myself in balance whilst everything is and will continue to happen. You cannot stop the world from being the world, but you can definitely find a way to handle the plethora of changes through keeping content and positive.
My emotional state luckily is a lot more stable and of course it is effected by my mental state, but generally, I am not sad, just in a funk and perhaps very anxious, I am afraid my current feelings can lead to effect my emotions greatly, and someone with a history of depression, I do not plan to make my emotions be effected greatly!
Physically, I have gained weight, and this is hard for me, being someone who also is a body confidence advocate, you would possibly expect me to 'not care' but I do care, I care because I worked on this weight loss regardless of me preaching body positivity and 'love yourself', no one likes to fail over something they worked hard on. My health also has definitely had an effect on this as due to some personal health issues, it has restricted my weight loss plans and this has been so difficult to handle and come to terms with, I recently had a minor medical treatment and was told to 'stay out of the gym' until my body fully processes and within that time, the pounds pile on...

What do you do to keep positive in a world that is confronted by all of these woes? All of the false and pretentious aspects of the internet world? All of the constant drama? How do you handle personal issues that test your faith? Would like to hear from you x

FASHION POST | SUMMER DRESS

Morning Sweetie Darlings,

This is just a quick fashion post on a dress I was happily sporting a few weeks ago. I love summer dresses, especially when they are light and airy and have a unique pattern or print.
This dress from River Island has an interesting style, with its cold shoulder, its gorgeous pattern and its modest length whilst very light also. I styled it with these honey comb Missguided heels, and whilst they are out of stock, here is just a similar style which is currently going for £9, such a steal!

SHOP THE POST BELOW

WHAT REALLY MATTERS?

I believe, it is my time to speak. I had planned other motivational posts for this weeks Monday Motivation however, I cannot bypass this. Normally, with many 'controversies' that happen in this world, I have a few tweets, or a few captions on instagram, but never elaborate on how I really feel about the tragedies that are happening in this world today.
I have not necessarily been silent, but I have not said much, and a lot of the reason is because I feel at this point I am in a state of shock over everything that is happening.
Over the last few weeks, we have had a number of awful events that have happened in the United States of America, from Christina Grimmie's murder, to the shooting in Orlando and of recent this weeks police vs the people shootings.

We all saw the 'hashtags' and we all know what it has resulted in over the past weekend.

I am not one to normally jump onto the band wagon and follow the crowd. I definitely am very observative and tend to not say much and would rather listen to each parties point of view. So despite what the mainstream and social media has told us, I looked out for more evidence, and stories behind these incidents. I also wanted to hear everybody's opinion on the entire issue that has broken out into an outrage worldwide from black people and even other races who have stood by the black race. I also wanted to listen to and understand why people are hailing #alllivesmatter and hear their point of view, because we have to be honest here, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.
There is a huge debate happening right now. This is the Black Lives Matter vs All lives Matter. So I do not loose your attention or perhaps have you wondering or figuring out which one I support, I am of course all the way #teamblacklivesmatter!
Whilst it is not a joke, or a competition but it is important you have an understanding of the debate and place yourself in a position where you see fit to your understanding and knowledge of the debate.

The All lives Matter movement has not got a concrete message because it is ONLY a RESPONSE to Black Lives Matter! It is only an argument. There is no actual intent or meaning behind it, if there were no Black Lives Matter movement, what would be the need of an All Lives Matter movement?  The BLM movement has erupted from frustration and anger at a result of repetitive murder within the black community, wether you find faults or justifications as to why or where it started, it still has a legitimate source.
All lives matter is acceptable if ONLY blacks were included and the fact of the matter is, we are not included in the 'all'. Why should we be silenced for speaking out? How can we just put away and forget the past and move on where as it is evident that we are still suffering the effects of slavery today.
In my honest opinion, the Black Lives Matter movement goes beyond police brutality. This movement occurs to most if not all industries. Black Lives Matter is relevant to the Entertainment, Fashion and Media industry, it pertains to the corporate world of finance, law and business, it effects our every day lives, our children, their schools and far beyond.
The understanding of lighter is always better is obvious, and this is pretty clear across the board.

In my experience of being a black woman, I feel that I have definitely had to work just that bit extra EXTRA hard to 'prove' myself. In a lot of cases, it seems you have to lose a bit of yourself in order to be recognised and even so, it is only a consideration.
A lot of ALM 'activists' have the biggest issue of all with black people who are 'lower class' or living in deprived and less fortunate conditions, their excuse is, they put themselves in that situation. However, there is not one of them I have noticed who have pointed out the issues with black people who perhaps are educated, rich and live more comfortable lifestyles... and the effects the system has on them. If you think that even those 'types' of black people have it easy, you are absolutely wrong. The effects of inequality is apparent and absolutely evident even amongst the most well spoken, intelligent and educated black people.
Wether it be for a job position, a position at school or college or university or just in general, when you have darker skin, you are always at least 98% 'considered' if you could be accepted.
Why is it in order to be mainstream in the entertainment industry you have to 'sell out'? Why do you have to lose a lot of your culture and become an entirely different person in order to get a cheque? Why are black models in the fashion industry paid less than white models, ever wondered why Kate Moss is retired and Naomi is still on the catwalk till date? Why is there always that token black girl in the fashion industry? What about all the other beautiful gorgeous models even with the 'correct' stats.
My point is, it is HARDER to make it or be accepted when you are black. This is the realest I have ever been on the internet, but I am speaking from the heart. I have felt and seen the suffering,
I am not going to speak on 'White privilege' as I have no idea how it feels to be white. Equally, white people have absolutely no right to speak on the effects black people encounter daily because they do not know what it feels like to be black.
This is the reason why Black Lives Matter, I am all here for this movement, and I am so happy we are finally able to take a stance and come together as a community and open up on how we really feel.

Many people have taken the time to dig deep into both cases, looking at the background records of Alton Sterling and digging up his criminal records, as well as digging as far down to find out issues in regards to Philando Castle. Despite everything you can dig up, there is absolutely no justification whatsoever for a person to loose their life at the hands of the police in that manner. It is embarrasing for America that this year alone there has been over 550 shootings by the police. It is appalling! Something needs to be done.

What shall we do about this amongst our community? I believe we still need to stand firm together, support each other, love each other, bless each other, pray for one another. Not only through comfort in these testing times but in general through pushing each other up, guiding one another... Black people are so talented, beautiful and creative and together we are extremely powerful. I am proud of the colour of my skin, I love my culture and heritage and I am blessed to be a black woman.

With this, I would like to offer my condolences to those who have lost their lives, and to anyone who has lost a loved one due to gun violence.

TREND ALERT | The Floating Eyebrow Trend

Seen on the likes of supermodel Gigi Hadid, the 'floating eyebrow' or 'underbrow' has quickly become a beauty favourite - from sleek and creative runways, right down to everyday wear. 

This newly accepted craze takes eyebrow highlighting to a new level, as the second brow accentuates your natural eyebrows - adding a bold stamp to your makeup look. Underbrows can be seen in a range of colourways, and is often left unblended - granting your face shapers with a striking appearance. 

Fortunately, you don't have to invest in a new makeup product, as liquid liners and eyeliner pencils will do the trick. 

Be daring and follow the high-end trend, as these quirky brows look best when paired with a natural everyday makeup look.

Words: Rianne Addo

Travel Post | THINGS I LOVE AND HATE ABOUT MY SPAIN HOLIDAY | SPAIN, MALLORCA

One amazing thing about life for me is the opportunity to Travel, my life long dream is to visit as many countries as I can. From a child I was always excited to get to the airport, get on the plane and then of course the holiday itself. I have even taken my little boy to America and regular UK Breaks and I of course plan to take him other places that will accommodate his needs so that he could enjoy himself.

If you have been following my vlogging channel ‘Chanel’s House’ you would have seen my crazy preparation plans for this vacation. Initially the trip was a treat for my husband to enjoy the sun and beach in Mallorca but turned out to be a girly holiday week with my best friend Laura.

It seems I travel often but it actually has been several years since I had a ‘holiday’ and when I mean holiday, chill on the beach, emails off, feet up, ice-cream and bikini fun! My last ‘holiday’ was with Laura and Danielle to Ayia Napa, Cyprus, a few months before I became pregnant with my little man who is now 7 years old, so for about 7 years, I honestly have not relaxing sun and beach holiday since.

As always when I travel, I draw inspiration from the country… this time, I have been inspired to ‘take it easy’ life in London can be very hustle and bustle but even with the rush of London, making time for relax and chill with the family and friends is possible and I need to embrace it more. I also tested my confidence BIG TIME, yesterday’s post proved that, because in all honesty, I feel I looked rather amazing in those bikini shots!

Anyway, every holiday has its pro’s and its cons… here are mine!

Things I HATED

I normally travel with premium flight companies such as British Airways, Virgin etc. However, I wanted a cheap flight but was willing to spend more on hotel so we opted for Monarch Airline.

1. Travel Agent: If there is ANY flight agency you want to get you to your perfect holiday destination, please DO NOT, travel with A1 Travel. As a lifestyle blog, I feel it is always super important to be very honest regarding any reviews. Whilst this is not a review, paid or not, I can only stress how disappointed I was in the service and you can find out here on my vlog channel why. Whilst it is more pricey to book flight and hotel separately, sometimes it is much more worth it than to deal with cheap and rude Travel Agents, if anything your best bet is to book through Thomas Cook or other well known established dealers.

2)  Dodgy Flight: Normally ANYTIME, I travel, I pray just that little harder… there is no escape of death if the plane decides to crash! So NOT FUNNY, but with cheaper airlines such as Monarch, Easy Jet and Ryan Air, because its so low budget, you can normally tell the planes are a little older.. Now Obviously, they are legit and have extremely low disaster rates and clearly I am exaggerating here, however, these flights sway so much more through the winds in the sky.  Also if you have earache issues like myself, take earplugs because I have noticed low budget aircrafts make my ears hurt RIDICULOUSLY! 

Whilst on the plane when landing, the plane swayed vigorously until we hit the ground, I held my best friend’s hand as we descended to the ground whilst swaying from left to right.. it was the most daunting experience! Our flight also was unfortunately delayed and they were so careless to not even tell us that the gate changed, all the passengers actually did not realise until the last minute! Tiny seats, short seat belts... ugh, I am flying with Virgin next time! 

3) Mallorca was ‘boring’ lol! Now, I am not TOO bothered because I was after a boring holiday! My plan was to just go to a place where I could chill, relax, take in heat, take in sun, eat, sleep and thats it, but  honestly, there is not much to do besides just that in Santa Ponca. Now of course, you could head to Magaluf which is the party district of Mallorca but for the most part, you have to be happy to not expect too much hype whilst out there.

4) I travelled with the whole of ESSEX!- Spain at this time of the year is the number one travel spot for fellow Britons… Its not something I hated per say, but its quite interesting that everyone spoke just like me and I hardly met Spanish people! What is also quite amusing *chuckles* is the referendum results was revealed whilst we were in Spain! Wonder how these Brits are going to fly over to Spain so effortlessly and tan the way they do now! 

5) Rude Brits- *Sighs* THIS, is why I love London when it comes to living in a multicultural society, you get used to Ethnic people and are just that little bit more welcoming. I had this eerie feeling that my Nubian presence may have been a little bit intimidating! (ONLY JOKING!) However, I DID have the most stares, and dirty looks from fellow Brits, and I know they were not from London. The few we did meet from London however were awfully sweet of course! Not everyone is like that, but I did sense an awkward vibe for the most part… for me, I just smiled back, some smiles in return and some frowns.. but hey ho, we paid the same amount to be in this hotel so calm down mate!

Things I LOVED!

This list perhaps would be endless, so lets keep it 5 things also because Spain my friends is a BEAUTIFUL country, and I would go back.. obviously unfortunately I would need a Visa next time! 

1. The scenery- As the plane approached the coast of Spain, I was in awe. Pure blue seas, crisp white sands, the country is gorgeous! Almost every back garden has a pool (no surprise). It is paradise.. and I can imagine, residents in this country live a happy and healthy life

2) Food and Drink- I basically gained 6 pounds… I am mortified, but I am meeting my Personal Trainer tomorrow so don’t cry for me! The food is irresistible I recommend Sargantana if you are after rich, quality food in a very sophisticated setting. Although in Spain, there are a mix of cultures such as Italian, Indian, Chinese, British restaurants. The fruit and salads are fresh and delicious. Their cocktails are THE BEST on the planet! The Pina Colada, Mango Colada and Strawberry Daiquiris are good enough to make you cry! Food and drink made with love!

3) Our Hotel- We stayed at Bahia Del Sol in Santa Ponca, a 4 star hotel with a beautiful sea front view, balcony, large rooms, comfy beds, and about 3 swimming pools, reception lounge, a spa area, gym, two large roof top terraces. The hotel staff were super friendly and helpful… honestly money well spent!

I got a half board experience so Breakfast and Dinner, and again, great quality food.

4) The PEOPLE- Why didn’t anyone tell me how sweet and kind and funny Spanish people are? Honestly, I felt so welcomed by them! A lot of them have an interesting humorous attitude that for a split second can be stern but then they switch it up and play around with you! I love that in people.

5) The Weather- Well, at least its consistent… the weather in Spain was literally perfect everyday. 32 degrees daily, an opportunity to sun down and feel amazing. Good weather always keeps you happy and I am truly grateful for this holiday

In conclusion, do I recommend Spain Mallorca, 100% YES! Travel is a huge industry and there is so much to do when traveling, but you could definitely benefit from travelling to a country that is welcoming such as Spain.

FASHION POST | PASSION PINKS AND PEACHES

Whilst Summer is still my least favourite season to dress up to, sometimes you can find a few 'cute' items to pair together. I prefer 'covering up', not because of confident issues but mainly for styling purposes!
Whilst waltzing through NottingHill a few weeks back, my amazing photographer www.sonyametzler.co.uk  by some of these amazing colourful homes, which I am sure a lot of you would agree with me are some of the cutest homes in London. The atmosphere greatly matched my outfit and of course that is always a bonus!

Shirt: Boohoo

Jeans: Evans

Shoes: ASOS (sold out)

Bag: ASOS (sold out)

Shop The Post

SHIRT: Boohoo
JEANS: Evans
Bag: sold out
Heels: Asos

Best Lightweight Foundations for Summer

As summer approaches, the quest of finding the most lightweight foundation becomes more essential. From the texture of the foundation, to how well it holds up throughout the day, we are met with many options when buying the perfect product for the base of one's face. In hopes to make your search easier, I've put together three top picks on the most breathable foundations for the summer season.
1. Revlon ColorStay Makeup for Combination/Oily Skin (£6.49):

Ideal for the sweltering weather, the Revlon ColorStay Makeup for Combination/Oily Skin foundation is an oil-free product which dries to a flawless matte finish. The bargain buy is specifically targeted to individuals with an over-production of oil during warmer temperatures.


2. Urban Decay Naked Skin Weightless Ultra Definition Liquid Makeup (£27):

This product serves as a happy medium between matte and sheer appearances, providing your skin with a natural finish. Offered in a variation of shades, the foundation boosts the health of your skin with anti-wrinkle ingredients.

3. Nars Sheer Glow Foundation (£31):

Calling for lovers of all things dewy: the weightless foundation does just what it says on the tin. It serves your skin with a radiance that is very desirable during the hotter months. 

Words: Rianne Addo

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Chanel...How are you so confident?

It is very refreshing to know a lot of amazing women and young ladies out there are inspired by me. I appreciate the love and support given and I am truly humbled! My biggest question I get is how, am I so confident? And in this post I am going to explain how and why.

The main reason I can imagine most people question my confidence is of course because I am obese, fat, overweight, plus size or whatever you would like to address it as. I get the stigma attached to being so large and out of the ordinary or norm and society's views on what beauty is and what it should be.

My main question is, why can't an overweight person be confident and feel happy within their own skin? There are many slim and beautiful people out there that have major issues with being confident. Our biggest downfall is the fact that we constantly compare ourselves to others... putting ourselves down in the process and it results in low self esteem.




Just to give you a background, I have not always been confident, and to be honest, even now, I do have 'those days' where I feel utterly ugly and can be quite paranoid about my appearance. As a child, I have been called out and bullied about my size. I have been clinically obese my entire life. In an ideal world, YES I would like to be smaller. I would like to be a size that I am considered as 'beautiful' and 'healthy' I personally would think being slimmer is a lot more comfortable and relatively 'easier' to live your life. The smallest I have been is a 14-16 during my adult life, and honestly, ideally, I would love to get down to this size.

What happens when the weight loss journey is a struggle? What happens when it becomes increasingly difficult to find the motivation, and will power to focus on a journey that potentially could take a few years to get to the destination. As far as I am concerned, at the moment this is my size. A UK size 20-22 and with years of 'trying' I have not and would never give up on trying to loose weight, but it is not so simple and has been a personal battle for me my entire life.

When people just tell me to 'loose weight' some times out of malice and sometimes from a genuine  heart and concern for my well being (much appreciated) my response is..  I am confident.. for now that is good enough!

I think it is safe to say, that every human being has a 'struggle' weight loss is my hugest struggle. I am pretty good at a lot of things however this is my biggest challenge.

Whilst I work on several ways to find motivation to stick to a healthy lifestyle so the weight drops off, the best I can do is appreciate and LOVE who I am at the moment. A weight that perhaps would never be accepted as beautiful or flattering, but I have to work with what I got.

So the question is WHY and HOW am I so confident?
My honest and simple answer is, because I actually think I am SO BEAUTIFUL! I am not exaggerating or lying or even boasting but, I have come to a point of acceptance and I think I am attractive, have an amazing character, strive and attitude and its something worth celebrating.















Currently I am in Spain... on a beach holiday with my best friend. There are a lot of skinny women around me, with their bikinis on.. and what are my options.. cover up and sweat under the heat or pull out my bikini and enjoy life also! I have all the options possible to stay covered up, or possibly just not go out. But right now, I just want to feel amazing, take beautiful pics and one day look back at it even from a healthier size and say, wow, I am happy I was happy.. taking these photos.

Life is way too short. My thought is, if I die, and never get to the point of a 'healthy' and 'small' size, at least I know I have enjoyed myself at the weight I am at.

My advice to young people and women everywhere is to love yourself whoever you are, at what ever state you are in. Feel and be beautiful. It does not even take you to have to get in a bikini, just be happy with who you are, if you have the means and will power of changing something to your preference also then I see no wrong in that, but for some of us we should learn to love and accept ourselves.