MY UNPOPULAR BODY SHAPE

It's Tuesday. I feel quite accomplished as I have ticked a lot of things off of my to do list.
I had a great night sleep, as baby slept throughout the entire night, he is getting so much better with night sleeps. Over the past few weeks, I have been at a full go go GO, with EVERYTHING, and I am currently at a zone where I am revved up for creating content, producing videos, images and more for my faithful followers online.
I was awaken at 8.30am by a phone call, positive call, so yup, I wasn't too mad! But believe me sis, 8.30am is actually a lye in for me! Anyway, I have a normal ritual in the morning, consisting of some prayer and meditation, cleaning etc, but of course, at some point, you check your phone, you check your social media, you check your YouTube comments... I then stumbled across a comment that literally shook me to infinity.

The comment said 'Your ass shape is not normal for a black girl. You're still beautiful though, I like the clothes you have shown, you are putting on so much weight, try to lose some weight'



Now that I have your attention,
lets talk...
I am pretty used to weirdos on the internet having a fetish over my weight, I am quite over people commenting on something I deal with daily and my entire life quite frankly. I also have lost over 30kgs since giving birth and still on my slow journey of weight loss. THAT is not the part of the comment that got to me. The comment that made my head swing is 'Your ass shape is not normal for a black girl'.
I actually responded to the comment... oh yes, I did! I rinsed the person to be honest, then realised its not worth it and deleted and blocked them. I thought I want to discuss this on the blog today, and also represent with these images because it does reveal my shape quite a bit and I want to show you it in all my glory (as I am not ashamed).




Many of you may know I am African. West African. Ghanaian. That is my true original heritage and i am overtly proud to be Ghanaian. I am British Born and raised, and I have a connection with the multicultural diverse city of London where I grew up in. I am from a predominately black area in London originally, so I am connected to West Indians as well as other Africans. Whilst there are a lot of conversations online talking about beauty standards, and the huge colourism debate which is honestly a discussion I am happy we are bringing to light as I am majorly effected by this. I think in the black community (which I am heavily associated with 'obviously'), we do not talk enough about the standard of the 'Ideal Black Woman'. This post is not about colourism, so we would save that for another conversation, but, can we talk about the ideal 'shape' a black woman should possess that NOT ALL of us have? This isn't even a fat vs skinny issue. This is the: big booty, big breast, flat stomach ideal that all black girls are meant to have?
I personally believe that, The beauty of black women is our diversity. 
And its beautiful to naturally have a big curved bum. But unfortunately, mine is not! Its flat, squared and broad, and that is how it is.
We as a community grow up with this mentality that we should have this 'ideal' standard of black beauty that its now become a fashion. We have the likes of the Kardashians who have paraded and exploited it to the point where US black women are reshaping our bums to look like them, when they get it from us! Whilst this is a pressure in Western culture, honey, lets not forget, the pressure actually does come from back home also. In Ghana, where I am from, from when you are a baby girl, you are given waist beads and bum massages so the baby girl grows to have 'that shape'. My issue is, why are we even forcing this? Can one not just grow with the shape they were born to have?
By flat square bum is an inheritance from my Grandmother Yaa Mansah... down to my mother, her sister and also my older sister and of course me. We all have 'that bum', and guess what, its not conventionally a 'black girls' bum, and thats ok! Interestingly enough, amongst our family, we have open discussions on how and why our bum is not good enough, and I am not sure why we pressure ourselves to look a certain way!





I have another little story for you...
I have been bullied about this little square bum of mine in school. I remember this girl, she had it in for me. It was connected to a personal matter that was outside school involving her friend, but I wont go into that today. I  had stayed back from school with my best friend a little later than normal finishing time, and as we were walking to the exit, I was approached by this bully.. it wasn't the first time she had troubled me, so as she approached, I was worried. She literally said to me, look at her bum, she looks like her knickers are too tight for her. Her and her friends burst out laughing, she also physically touched me by pulling at my knickers. I said nothing, but just cried about it. I never told my family what had happened. On a second occasion, again, the girl saw me, and said 'ahhh those knickers again'. She had regularly taunted me which effected my self asteem and my confidence as you can imagine as a young 15 year old girl. Anyway, if you ever wondered what happened to the girl, I ended up beating her up at a local supermarket on a Saturday... that's a story for another day kids! Do you want to hear it? Comment and let me know.

This is just one of the many incidents where I have been bullied about my 'non-black girl' bum! But as I go through my self love journey, I have learnt to not hide it, but embrace it.
The black woman comes in many shapes. Thin, curvy, flat

Chested, some women are toned have no hips, but I believe God is creative and chose too make us in different ranges. It’s the beauty of his creation, and we need to embrace all of what we come in. 

Credits:
Photographer: @abiolarenee

Dress: @fashionnovacurve