Too Big for the Bedroom

Well hellurrr everyone!

I kind of thought I should blog a bit more. My last piece on the blog got a little traction and I’m not only gassed about it because it was fully unexpected, but I thought... whett... a bish has a lot too say!

So here we are again, Sunday evening. The family and I had a lovely get away to the coast for the weekend, a new week is about to begin and I have some time to share a lil sum sum on to my blog today!

I tell you what, although I have so much to share on this subject, I’m kindaaaa shy! So I would try and keep it classy and cute because, I’m not about to spill so much intimate tea on my blog! I just want to share my journey to finding love, as there still seems to be a stereotype that big girls can’t find love...

My first encounter with having any sexual relations was as a teen. I must say, I was a very naive teenager, I kind of feel that I was not guided in this area too much so I loosely went on a quest to find someone to like me. I wish I had the perfect first boyfriend who stood outside my bedroom throwing stones at my window to get my attention and sang to me and wrote me love letters.. but my reality is, a lot of guys who took interest to me, we’re kinda shit! Whilst some may think weight is an excuse, I do feel that guys saw me easily enough to take advantage of and treat me badly.

Being a big girl and a teen can sometimes make you also look older than your age, so it’s very easy to get caught with older guys. I must say to mums who have bigger teenage daughters who are reading this, please be mindful of this, when you develop quicker in puberty and start to look like a woman and possibly are just 14 years old, some men can minipulate and take advantage and rob them from their innocence. Talk to your daughters, let them feel loved, let them open up to you. 

My first love encounters are almost a blur to me also. Simply because they were not that special. Special love moments can create long lasting amazing memories and can also give you experiences that can help your future love encounters. 

Large girls may feel a reluctance to opening up to their loved one also. This is because in our heads, we feel we do not look good naked. It’s actually crazy how society makes it seem as if, sex is for slender people? We are taught to hide away and cover fat through our dressing, so can you actually imagine the state of most big peoples bedrooms? 

Big women hide even in the bedroom and that is sad.

Lights off... covers wrapped, tops on... yes TOPS ON? Are you serious? Yes... Chanel is very serious, even in 30 degree weather Hun! 

After I had my first son, I entered a 5 year celibacy until I met my husband of course. This celibacy was a matter of choice rather than because of my size, but even so, I kind of did wonder, when I got with that guy, would I be able to open up after so long of being alone.

I think one of the interesting things about marriage is, the opportunity to explore. I know you can explore outside of marriage, but exploring with your life long partner can be fun and interesting. I did take a journey of finding myself again and trying to understand what I like, and what he liked. There were many times I wanted to keep the lights off at the beginning of our relationship, but he helped me over come a lot. 

My insecurities about my body resulted in me holding back, and it took a while to let go. 

Ladies, I just want you to know, that you got to love yourself so you can love back. Walk around your house naked! I can’t believe people wear clothes indoors honestly 🤣!!!! Stand in front of the mirror naked, then do that in front of your guy! Cook naked, do the laundry naked, do it all naked.. it would build your confidence! 

Another key confidence in the bedroom is GROOMING! Girl... shave! Shave honey! Take it all off! When you are feeling smooth and cleaned up, you kind of want to show off 😂 yup! Wax, shave, moisturise, you would feel so fresh and ready! 

Any self love journey is long, but totally worth it. Hopefully you can take my tips and it would make life a little easier for you. And also...most guys don’t care either way-  *whispers ‘as long as they’re getting it!’*

Credits:

Lingerie and Gown @fashionnovacurve

Photographer: @abiolarenee